


Not Real

by Lamerei



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Closeted Character, Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Pining, Runaway Reggie, Some of these tags will apply in future chapters and don't apply rn, cursing, definitely not for people under age like 16, made the rating mature just incase
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27825331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamerei/pseuds/Lamerei
Summary: When Reggie was alive, he was always told that he “wasn’t realistic.” It started when he joined Sunset Curve with Luke and Alex, and his mom told him that being in a band “wasn’t a real job.” Then, when he came out to his parents as bisexual, his dad said that “wasn’t real,” whatever that meant. Now, Reggie’s not real, and he may-or-may-not have unrealistic feeling for Luke. Story of his life, ain’t it?
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 136





	1. Not Real Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reggie, Alex, Luke, and Julie have just somehow broken Caleb’s spell, and they’re raring to prepare for their next gig. However, they’re still trying to figure out their unfinished business and how to prepare for the next time Caleb strikes. Reggie wants to try and find his parents, thinking maybe things are better now that he’s not around, but Reggie only finds more pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter starts off with the ending of the last episode where Julie finds the guys in the studio, so basically the first 1/5th of the chapter is stuff you already know and mainly just set up. Then it gets a bit darker, so if you're not okay with descriptions of parents fighting/yelling/cursing and a slap, please do not read. That's about as far as it's taken, but still, I know that's not something everyone wants to read.  
> Other than that, enjoy!

Reggie wasn’t ready to die. Well, for a second time at least. He wasn’t ready to die the first time, and he wasn’t ready to die now, either. He also didn’t want to die in front of Julie. She already lost her mom and now she’s going to lose them too? And watch them go? Life’s crueler than Reggie wanted to believe, but at least he got to hang out with the guys for a little longer before they ceased to exist.

Reggie laughed internally. _Ha, I wasn’t real to begin with, and now I’m gonna be super not-real. Story of my life, isn’t it?_

The three of them crawled up from the floor where they had been sprawled out in a pile.

“I guess playing at the Orpheum wasn’t out unfinished business,” Alex grunted out, holding his side.

“Point: Caleb,” Reggie stated, sarcastically.

Luke was sitting up, leaning against the piano, “We wanted you to think that we crossed over, so we pretended to,” Julie could see tears around the rims of his eyes. Clearly, the guys had been in a lot of pain. Reggie was trying to hold in his own, “We just…” Luke shook his head, “We had nowhere else to go.” He inhaled sharply, trying not to cry.

Reggie could see tears forming in Julie’s eyes, “We thought you’d go straight to bed,” he said, as if that was an excuse as to why they didn’t tell her.

Alex stood up fully, taking on his ‘I-told-you-so’ tone, “Yeah, well, I knew she was gonna come out here, but nobody ever listens to me-“

A jolt came ripping through their bodies, nearly sending Alex toppling to the ground, all of them doubling over in pain.

Julie ran toward them in desperation, “You have to save yourselves right now! Go to Caleb’s club, please. It’s better than not existing at all,” she pleaded, nearly crying, “Please just go! Poof out! Do Something! Please. Do it for me,” she looked at Reggie, begging, “Please…”

Reggie shook his head solemnly, “We’re not going back there.”

Luke was crying now as he approached Julie. Reggie watched him as the tear ran down his cheek. It nearly broke Reggie’s tough façade.

“No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you,” Luke stated. He took a deep, shaky breath, “No regrets,”

Julie enveloped Luke in a hug, holding onto him as if he were going to disappear at any moment, and Luke hugged her back.

It took Reggie a moment through his tear-filled eyes, _Wait… wait how is she doing that?_ But at that moment, he didn’t really care to bring it up. He just though it was sweet and wanted this to be one of the last memories he has.

“I love you guys,” Julie whispered, gently crying into Luke’s shoulder. After a moment, it hit her too, especially when Luke began to glow a heavenly gold color. She stepped back, “How can I feel you?”

“I…I… I don’t know…” They held each other’s faces, for the first time being able to hold one another. They laughed a bit, amazed at what was happening, “I… I feel stronger.” Luke turned to Reggie and Alex, bewildered.

Julie had an idea, “Alex, Reggie, come!”

The other two stood up and rushed over, Reggie being sandwiched between Julie and Luke, the four of them embracing and feeling each other for the very first time. Real touch, real hugs, and for the first time in while now, Reggie felt real strength wash over him like a warm ray of sunlight as he and Alex too began to glow.

“Whoa…” he said, mystified, “I-I don’t feel as weak anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither. Not that… you know, I was ever that weak,” Alex joked.

Suddenly, their wrists tingled, and they turned them over. Caleb’s stamps lifted off their wrists and vanished into thin air. Reggie let a tear fall, happy that somehow, something has given him and his friends a second chance.

Luke smiled, “I think the band’s back.” Reggie couldn’t help but watch Luke as he looked around at the other three. There was beauty in that smile, and Reggie’s heart was soaring at everything happening around him.

“You guys… think we could try that hug thing one more time?” Alex asked the question that was on everyone’s mind.

Reggie smiled widely, nodding his head and opening his arms, “Yeah,” he laughed. They embraced again, Alex remarking that hugs are good. They separated, “I like this,” Reggie chuckled.

Julie smiled and pulled them back into a third hug, “Meeee too!” They laughed, “We played the Orpheuuuum!” she happily declared as they whooped and jumped around in a circle. In that moment, Reggie doesn’t think he’s ever felt happier to have found such awesome friends… such an awesome family.

~~~~~

“Well, there was my unfinished dream of us playing some country songs,” Reggie listed, “Or maybe it was that we never even _practiced_ one of the country songs I wrote, that could be it,” he leaned his head back from his weird sitting position in his chair. His legs were dangled over one side and so when he leaned his head back to look at Luke and Alex, they were upside-down. Well, Reggie was in fact the one upside-down, but you get the point. Topsy turvy land, just like their lives have been for the past few weeks.

“I don’t think either of those things are it, Reg,” Luke said, chin resting in his hand, a small pout on his face as he looked around the room trying to come up with ideas as to what their actual unfinished business might be.

“Well why not? It could be!” Reggie defended, sitting up in the chair and turning around.

Luke shook his head, and Alex rolled his eyes, “Maybe that’s _your_ unfinished business, Reginald,”

Reggie thought for a moment, “Do… do you think it is?”

Alex just shook his head, “Guys, it _has_ to be something to do with Bobby. The _four_ of us were meant to plat together than night, and so maybe without him, it doesn’t work,”

“Ugh!” Luke stood up, walking around from behind the piano where he was sitting, “Why is ghost magic so stupid and cryptic? Why can’t we be told our unfinished business so if we wanted to, we could do it? Huh?” he turned back and forth between Reggie and Alex, arms out, looking for an answer. He grumbled over to the couch and plopped down, arms crossed, “I just want us to figure it out so that way we can avoid it until we’re ready. I’m not ready to stop playing music with the band yet!” he said with a sort of defiance in his tone, as if the universe was going to listen to him better that way.

“I know, man, but we’ve been trying for hours now, and my head is empty,” Reggie whined.

“Yeah, we already knew that,” Alex said, smiling devilishly and crossing his arms.

“Hey!”

Alex threw his arms up in defeat, still smiling, “I’m just kidding, Reggie,”

Luke stood up suddenly, an annoyed vibe coming off of him, “Okay, well I’m going to go for a walk, see if I can think of anything. Let me know if you guys get an idea,” he said, poofing out before they could answer.

Now that they were no longer under Caleb’s control, Luke felt like he had a whole new lease on life, but he was also on edge a lot recently, Reggie noticed. Luke didn’t want to do anything in case it risked them finishing their unfinished business and caused them to cross over. None of them wanted to do that yet, they were still having fun. However, that left them with another risk: Caleb. They were sure Caleb wasn’t going to just let them go that easily and was going to come after them sooner or later, and they needed to figure out how to fight him, or at least defend against him.

Alex sat back down behind his drum kit, twirling a drumstick around in his hand. _He does that when he thinks_ , Reggie thought. _He’s certainly a fidgeter. I know the feeling._ Reggie couldn’t think anymore though, because he had a thought stuck in his mind, and it refused to leave, which was _quite_ distracting.

“Hey Alex, I’m gonna go for a walk too, you mind?”

Alex shook his head, “Nah man, you can go. I might try to find Willie, see if he’s alright,”

“Cool! Cool, I’ll uh… I’ll be back!” he said, waving and poofing out.

~~~~~

Reggie doesn’t remember when his parents started fighting. He likes to think that there was a time when they didn’t fight, but he couldn’t name it. Even when he was little, there were arguments upon arguments and lots of shouting. They weren’t mean to him, at first, but as he got older his dad eventually starting getting tired of him.

“Why don’t you do somethin’ useful and get me another beer?” he would demand from his reclined position in his armchair as he continued to watch whatever sport he could find on the TV. He had probably four of five bottles already littered to the one side of the chair, but Reggie would get another one for him anyway. He didn’t want to get yelled at again.

Eventually, his mother got fed up with him as well.

“Seriously? All you can pull are B’s and C’s? That’s the best you can do? You need to stop hanging out with those degenerates you call friends and actually focus on school. I just want you to do well in life, honey,” she’d say in a sickeningly sweet tone. Reggie would go through a cycle with this behavior from his mom. He’d stop hanging out with Luke, Alex, and Bobby for a bit, focus really hard on school, and then eventually go back to hanging out with his friends again. It’s not that he wasn’t trying in school or getting his work done, because he was. He just… didn’t do as well as she’d like him to.

Reggie guesses that at some point his mom began to blame his dad for Reggie’s behavior, because Reggie’s dad now was mad at him about his grades whereas before he never seemed to really give a shit about him, “What a loser…” he’d hear his dad mumble whenever Reggie was playing his bass guitar in the living room, “Why don’t you get a real fucking job? You’re 16 for Christ’s sake, you’re old enough to actually earn your keep instead of being a useless freeloader.”

Reggie was, unfortunately, used to this from his parents. What he was also used to, but never could fully block out, is when they would fight. He knew the warning signs of when they were about to start. Really, any disagreement they had—which was present in nearly any conversation—turned into a huge deal that required ample amounts of shouting and cursing and threats of divorce or of killing one another. Reggie would retreat to his room as silently as he could, close the door, and turn on some music to try and drown it out without it being too loud that _he_ would then be the center of their anger.

It really drained Reggie, and the guys always knew when he had a bad night. He would show up to practice zoned-out, and kind of acting a bit robotic rather than his normal, bubbly and smiley self. Luke would always find ways of cheering Reggie up, and Alex was a pretty good sounding board and had some good advice. Bobby was the one to go to if you needed a yes-man to vent to, to make you feel validated. He knew sometimes he should really talk to Alex instead to help him work through some problems, but sometimes you just wanna go off, ya know?

Anyway, the day that he ran away from home was not far off from when Luke did. Reggie’s parent’s had been fighting again, and this time the music couldn’t drown it out. Suddenly, he heard a crash of something akin to glass breaking. Reggie’s heart skipped a beat and, without thinking, he ran toward the bedroom door and flung it open. He raced downstairs and into the kitchen, to find a beer bottle smashed on the ground and his father threatening his mother, “If you ever fuckin’ tell me what to do ever again I swear, it’ll be the last time you tell me anything!” He said, stepping toward her as she backed away in fear. Normally, they were pretty evenly matched as far as he could tell, but tonight something seemed to have snapped in his dad.

Reggie stood in the entryway to the kitchen helpless and speechless. What could he do or say here?

“What the hell are you looking at you fuckin’ queer?” His dad had recently not taking a liking to how Reggie dressed, after he came out as bisexual, namely he wore tight, ripped jeans, leather jackets or flannels, and some necklaces. His dad has chided him on numerous occasions that “Necklaces are for chicks and for queers, and my son ain’t a queer,” _How lovely_ , Reggie would think. He remembered when he came out to his parents, saying he thought he was bisexual. His dad had bellowed, _“Ha! Yeah! Like that’s a thing! That doesn’t exist, an no son of mine is gonna be gay.”_

His dad pushed his mom out of the way as he stormed up to Reggie, grabbing his face in one hand, grabbing him roughly by his cheeks. Reggie pedaled backward, but his dad continued forward, “If it wasn’t for _you_ , I wouldn’t be getting half the shit I do from your mother, and I ain’t even done nothin’ wrong! It’s you’re fucking shit that I have to deal with, when I never needed anyone to deal with mine! Why the hell are you so goddamn stupid?!” He shouted, shoving Reggie to the ground, “C’mon, get the fuck up, show me you’re a real man,” Reggie could smell the cheap beer on his breath, as he was clearly drunk.

Reggie continued to push himself away from his father, now looming over him.

For some reason, tonight was the one night his mother seemed to give a real, actual shit about him, as she approached his father, “Okay, that’s enough-“ her cheek was met with the back of her father’s hand as he whipped around. She held her face, anger and fear filling her eyes at the same time. She marched away, tears beginning to form as she hurried to the bathroom.

His father turned back to him, “Look what you’ve done.” He said, shaking out his hand from the slap and walking into the living room and sitting back down in the armchair as if nothing happened, “Get me another beer,”

Reggie couldn’t move for a moment, until his father shouted, “NOW!” and he scrambled up to the fridge, his sock-covered feet getting soaked with the beer on the ground from the bottle his father smashed. He didn’t think he’d stepped in glass, but right now he couldn’t feel anything but trepidation as he handed his father the beer and hurried back up to his room.

He immediately grabbed a duffle bag from his closet and began shoving clothes into it, anything that could fit. He grabbed his bass guitar and put it in it’s case. He had done all of this in such a blur he hadn’t realized what he was doing for a minute, nor that his foot was actively bleeding. He stopped and looked around as a final sort of check while he put on his combat boots, somehow still blissfully unaware of his foot. He decided he had everything he cared about (which wasn’t much), and he turned off the lights in his room. He walked over to his window and opened it, as it led out onto a roof that he could climb down from.

And he started walking.

He didn’t know where he was going until he recognized the familiar plants and stone path. His mind ended up automatically taking him to where Luke had been crashing for the past few weeks and where they’ve been practicing as a band. There was this really nice girl that let them use her studio, and she was pretty musically inclined herself, though.

He opened the door to the studio, as he saw the light was off and figured Luke was asleep. He didn’t want to bug him, so he tried to sneak in quietly. Unfortunately for him, Luke was a light sleeper and woke up almost immediately, though groggily.

“Hey, man, what are you doing here? What… what time is it?” He looked over at an alarm clock on the end table, and it read 12:37 AM.

Reggie shifted uncomfortably with his guitar and duffle bag filled with his life. He wasn’t sure what to say, but Luke caught on after a few moments of silence and looking at what Reggie was holding. Reggie’s face also looked a bit… discolored.

“Whoa, Reg, what happened?” Luke stood up and walked over to Reggie, trying to get Reggie to look at him. Reggie just kept staring at the floor and shook his head, indicating he didn’t want to talk right now, “Okay, uh, well, uh, here! You can put your guitar down,” Luke said, gently taking it from Reggie, “And uh, how about you have the couch? There’s a sleeping bag in the loft, let me go get it,”

“No, Luke, I-“

“No. The couch is yours tonight. Get into your PJ’s, buddy. I’ll go get the sleeping bag, it’s mine anyway,” Luke said, putting a hand on Reggie’s shoulder and squeezing comfortingly. Reggie wasn’t sure how to feel about the touch at that moment, but he guessed it made him feel… okay.

Reggie quickly changed into a pair of flannel pants and a loose-fitting T-shirt. He looked around. He felt really, really bad for invading Luke’s space without asking, and now Luke was going to sleep on the floor while Reggie got the couch, so now he really felt bad. He shouldn’t have come here, he thought, staring at the pullout. _I shouldn’t get to have the couch._

“Hey,” Luke said, coming up behind him with the sleeping bag under arm. Reggie jumped, “Whoa… Reg, the couch won’t bite, I promise,” Reggie laughed, a tinge of sadness hiding underneath.

“Yeah… yeah I know, but Luke, you really should-“

“Reg,” Luke said, putting the sleeping bag down and looking him in the eyes. He could now see that Reggie’s green eyes were surrounded by pink. He was clearly crying at some point, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, then Luke wasn’t going to push, “Take the couch. I can sleep anywhere,” he said with a smile. He put his hand on Reggie’s shoulder again, leading him down to the couch. He looked again at Reggie’s cheek now that it was in a better light. It was a bit more clear that something happened to his face on both sides. It wasn’t quite a bruise yet, but Luke imagined it would be tomorrow. He was upset that Reggie wouldn’t tell him what happened, but he wasn’t upset _at_ Reggie, if that made any sense, “Can I get you anything, man? Water?” he asked the boy.

Reggie just shook his head, “I’m just tired,”

Luke smiled a worry-filled smile, but nodded his head, “Alright, Reg. Let’s get some shut-eye then,” squeezing his shoulder one more time before unfurling the sleeping bag and crawling in, Luke looked up at Reggie on the couch, “G’night, Reg,”

“Night, Luke.”

~~~~~

Reggie knew he shouldn’t have, but he managed to find his parent’s new address. They were actually still in town, but he guessed they couldn’t afford the beach-front living. Or got bought out by someone who wanted to put in that taco place. Either way, somehow Reggie did the thing that he simultaneously thought he _should_ do and _shouldn’t_ do.

Why shouldn’t he have done this? Well, for starters, the last time he saw his parents was the night he ran away and started living with Luke. So his story with them picks back up at that point. Fun. Also, he’s not exactly sure what to expect. He kinda hopes that, because he’s gone, his parents are done arguing because he’s not their problem anymore. He was the main reason that they fought, so if he’s not real anymore, everything should be hunky-dory, right?

On the other hand, he feels like he _has_ to do this. Reggie needs to know how they are, if they are any better. He wants to know if he really was the problem or if it was something else. _Isn’t that a reason that I shouldn’t do this? Because I’m being selfish?_ He shook his head. No, he has to know. Either way, it’ll suck. If he was the problem, he’ll feel shitty, but if he wasn’t the problem, then… well… what could he do?

The house itself was… less than put together. The porch out front was decrepit and looked like it would rot away at any moment. The house was missing more than it’s fair share of shingles, the gutters were completely stuffed with leaves and pine needles, and the siding of the house was practically peeling away. _Okay, not a great start, our old house was never this bad_. _Maybe they’re just busy and haven’t had the time to take care of this stuff… yeah, that’s gotta be it._

Reggie walked up to the house and looked inside a window near the front door. The window had a direct view into the kitchen, where he could see his mom making a tuna sandwich for lunch. _She looks… tired._ Reggie phased through the window, walking toward the kitchen. As he got closer to his mother, he could see that she had dark circles under her eyes, and her eyes seemed… empty. Like there was nothing behind them except empty space.

Reggie felt a twinge of sadness at the sight. While his mom never treated him that well, it still sucked to see your mom so… broken.

At that point Reggie’s father walked in, through Reggie, and took the sandwich from the mother, “Took you long enough,” he said, taking a huge bite of the sandwich.

His mother didn’t say anything. She just threw out the empty tuna can and rinsed off the fork in the sink. She went back to the fridge, probably trying to find something to eat for herself. The fridge wasn’t well-stocked, which was new. They were never poor, they always bought food for him. _What happened to mom?_

His dad sat at a small wooden table in the dining room adjacent. The table wobbled as one of the legs was a bit shorter, “Get me a beer while you’re in there,” his dad commanded.

His mom did as he said, grabbing the same beer he has been drinking for the past 30 years. However, the bottle was wet, and his mom dropped the bottle, sending it crashing into the floor, just like the night he ran. Reggie shuddered and looked over at his dad, who was clearly building up anger by the second.

He stood up forcefully, “Why can’t you ever do anything right?” he said, stomping over. His mother backed up, eyes filled with sadness and fear, “No wonder our fuckin’ son died, you couldn’t raise him right because you ain’t right yourself!” he said, cornering her against the sink.

Reggie’s blood—if he had any, maybe something like ghost-blood—ran cold. Reggie stepped forward toward the two of them instinctively, thinking he could do something. His dad grabbed his mom’s face in the same way that he had grabbed Reggie’s that night. Reggie reached up and touched his cheeks where he had been grabbed.

“Say somethin’, damnit!” His father commanded, shaking his mom. She began crying. His father let go of her face, and then struck her.

“No!” Reggie cried out. Trying to grab his father, but his hands fell right through him. _I can’t do anything… I’m not real…_ he backed away, watching as his dad left his mom hunched over the sink, crying as quietly as she could.

Reggie poofed out of the house, appearing at the beach. He sat in the sad and cried. His knees were pulled up to his face, and he was curled up in a ball. _I couldn’t do anything! It’s still my fault! Everything’s my fault!_ Reggie beat himself up for everything. His parents really had gotten in his head before he ran away, and was always blaming himself for things that went wrong. _I could never be enough for them and now they’re like this and it’s my fault…_

After a while, Reggie walked back to Julie’s. He didn’t want to poof back, he needed some time to cool down and for his eyes to return to their normal, not red and puffy self.

When he entered the studio, it was empty. Luke hadn’t come back yet, and Alex must have gone out with Willie.

Reggie sat down on the couch, just looking around the room. There was a vase with flowers in it on the table in front of him. He sat forward and tried to grab one, but his hand went right through it. He tried again, with the same result. He kept trying again, and again, and again. He hadn’t noticed that Alex had come back and was watching him from behind his drum set.

Reggie became increasingly frustrated, as he knew that Alex has spoken briefly about how Willie was teaching him to grab stuff and make other cool things happen with their ghost-powers. _Why can’t I do it? Alex can do it, so why can’t I?_ _I’m doing exactly what he said!_

After another very focused, failed attempted, Reggie groaned and laid back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling, “Guess I’m still not _real_ enough…” he said dejectedly. He felt like he was going to cry again, so he tried taking in a deep breath to calm down, but it ended up being shaky.

“Reggie, are you okay?” Alex said, standing up and coming over toward Reggie.

Reggie jumped, wiping at his eyes hurriedly, “Huh? Y-yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He sniffled, pretending nothing happened.

Alex crossed his arms, looking at him with his ‘don’t lie to me’ look, “Reggie… you know you can talk to me, right? What happened?” He crouched down next to Reggie to meet his eyes, as Reggie was looking down at the ground, trying to avoid Alex.

“It’s nothing.”

“Hm, yeah, I don’t think it’s nothing.”

“It is, I’m fine.”

“Reggie,” Alex said, sitting next to him, “I just watched you try to grab a flower for about five minutes and then nearly cry over it—you’re not fine.”

Reggie knew he wasn’t going to get Alex off his back, so he sighed and held his head in his hands, leaning over and staring at the floor.

“I found my parents.”

Alex sat silently, nodding his head as if he understood, “Oh… do you… want to talk about it?”

Reggie shook his head. There was nothing he could do, so why talk about it?

“Well… do you want me to show you how to grab that flower?” Alex said, picking it up with general ease. Clearly, he had gotten better at grabbing real things. Reggie was so inconsistent with what he could touch and what he couldn’t touch. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. He couldn’t figure out why. But maybe if he let Alex show him how to do this, then maybe he could stop his parents from fighting next time… somehow.

Reggie nodded his head, sitting back up.

“Alright, so, here’s how Willie taught me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so it's just a bit of a teaser. We'll get into more Luke/Reggie interactions soon, I promise! Gotta start with setup before you can get to the actual story.


	2. Real Chill Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band practices a few songs, but something is off with Reggie, and it’s not just Alex that is noticing. Luke tries to get Reggie to chill out by taking a break for from practice and just hanging out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I did NOT know that Jeremy and his wife went to a zoo until after I wrote this chapter, so that has NOTHING to do with why this chapter is set in a zoo. His wedding video is really cute though! Anyway, this chapter is from Luke's perspective. I think I might do a flip back and forth sort of thing for this fic. This chapter is a bit more fluffy and silly, but the next chapter we'll dig right back into that angst and comfort, I promise. Especially now that finals are over. Yay!  
> Enjoy!

“That was uh… pretty good, pretty good,” Luke said, looking back and forth between Reggie and Alex. Julie was at school, and the band had decided today was a good day for some quiet practice time. They wanted to dust off some of the old songs they hadn’t played in a while, and it had been a minute since they played “Bright”, it hadn’t been _that_ long for it to sound so... off.

Something just wasn’t right when they were playing. Luke knows he was really feeling it… and Alex was on _fire_ today! But Reggie… Luke wasn’t sure what was up. He definitely seemed out of it.

“Hey, Reg, you okay?” he said, stepping closer to him.

Reggie’s kind of neutral expression changed to a smile really quickly, “Yeah! Yeah, totally cool man. Sorry, didn’t sleep well last night. Let’s run it again,” he chuckled weakly, looking right at Luke.

Luke knew something wasn’t right, but Reggie wasn’t ‘fessin’ up. He knew if he pushed, Reggie would just close up and not say anything. He’s known Reggie long enough to know that.

“Alright, man. From the top!” Luke declared, strumming his guitar and hopping back over to his place. He looked back to Alex for a second, silently asking him _Do you know what’s up?_ And Alex shrugging in return.

They ran through “Bright” one more time, and it still didn’t sound as great as it should. Luke had them try playing songs that they had played more recently. “Stand Tall”, “Finally Free”, anything that maybe would get Reggie pumped up. None of it seemed to work, though. There was still something… missing in the way he played, in his voice. He wouldn’t even come over to share the mic with Luke. Luke didn’t know what was wrong.

Luke decided it was time to take a break. They weren’t getting anywhere at this rate, and he wanted to figure out what was wrong with Reggie.

Luke pulled Alex aside, “Dude, what’s going on with Reggie?”

Alex shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been helping him learn to pick stuff up, maybe it’s been really draining on him because he’s really pushing it,” he said, glancing over his shoulder, watching Reggie tune his bass.

Luke shoved his hands in his pockets, shaking his head a bit, “I don’t know… maybe,” Reggie hadn’t looked up at them or come over to see what they were talking about like he usually would. The usual curiosity-driven Reggie was… too quiet. Reticent.

Luke patted Alex on the shoulder and looked at him, “I’m gonna fix our Reggie, just you wait,”

Luke walked over to Reggie, trying to catch his eye. It took a second, but eventually Reggie seemed to notice he was there and plastered on whatever the smile from before was, “Oh, hey Luke! You ready for another song?”

“Uh, actually, Reg, I was thinkin’ we’d end practice today,” Luke started to grab Reggie’s guitar, helping him take it off, “and maybe just… I dunno, hang out. Take a break.” Luke slung his arm around Reggie’s shoulders, walking him over to the couch. “We’ve been stressin’ about figuring out the Caleb thing and our ‘unfinished business’,” he said, with air quotes, “and I think we all just need a little time to… ya know, chill.” Luke sat them down on the couch, smiling at Reggie, silently hoping he’d agree.

Reggie sat, nodding his head, “Yeah… yeah maybe a little time off would be good. So, what are we gonna do?” Reggie said, looking at Luke like an expectant puppy. A tired, expectant puppy.

_Uh oh… I… hadn’t thought that far ahead._

There wasn’t really much that they could do, being ghosts. They couldn’t interact with much of anything, no one could see them, and the only place they can really go eat is Caleb’s club, and that isn’t exactly their go-to hangout spot at the moment. It wasn’t that late in the day, so they couldn’t go hit up any clubs to see any of the local talent. Luke tried to think of stuff that they had done when they were kids that involved them just… walking around.

“We could… go to the zoo?” Luke said, looking for Reggie’s reaction. Reggie loved going to the LA zoo, he’d been there a crazy amount of times to look at the same animals. _Maybe he’s not tired of them yet?_ “And get this: now that we’re ghosts, we can go anywhere we want in the zoo. No fences, so you can get as close to the animals as you want,”

Reggie’s body seemed to perk up just the slightest bit when Luke said that, “Hm… that sounds awesome, let’s do it!” Reggie turned to Alex, “You comin’ too?”

“Nah, man, I told Willie I’d hang out today. You two have fun though,”

Reggie pouted, “Aw, c’mon! You can bring Willie! The three of us haven’t hung out in a while, and Willie is always welcome! So long as he can get away from that jerk wad, Caleb.”

Luke was glad that Reggie seemed to be getting so into the idea. He seemed a bit more like his normal self.

Alex rolled his eyes, but smiled, “ _Fine_ , I’ll go find Willie and bring him back here. Give me ten, yeah?” Reggie nodded, and with that, Alex poofed out of the room.

Now that Reggie and Luke were alone, Luke decided maybe he’d try his luck and just give a _tiny_ push.

“So hey, Reg, everything alright?” he asked, turning to Reggie, concern written all over his face.

Reggie did that smile again. The one that Luke knew wasn’t a real smile, but the smile that says, _I’m probably not but I want other people to think I am fine_.

“Yeah, man! Like I said, just tired,” he was fiddling with his hands again. Luke has known Reggie long enough to know his habits and to know when he’s uncomfortable or anxious about something. He’s going through the motions like when his parents would fight. Seems tired, puts on a fake smile, picks at his fingers… He wanted to help Reggie deal with whatever this was, but he couldn’t if Reggie wasn’t going to open up to him.

Luke turned more toward Reggie and tried to catch his eyes, “You know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to hide stuff from me, you know that.”

Reggie nodded his head, looking at Luke, “Yeah… yeah man I know. Thank you,” he said, smiling a lopsided smile. _That was at least more genuine…_

Luke smiled back, “Okay. Alright man, just wanted to make sure you knew,” he said, reaching over and pushing his knee, “C’mon, let’s get ready to go,”

~~~~~

The boys met back up and poofed over to the zoo. Luke felt a little… childish deciding to go to the zoo. But he knew Reggie liked the zoo, or at least, he hoped that he genuinely was into this idea and not just being the overly-polite person that Reggie can be. But this man, he’s an animal lover. Luke knew that. Reggie was always head-over-heels for everyone from school’s pets and he was constantly asking his parents for a puppy. So maybe seeing some cute animals will make him feel better. And now? He could see them really, _really_ closely.

“Alright, boys. Where to first?” Luke said, sweeping his hands out as if presenting the zoo to the others.

The three kind of shifted around, looking at the ground and around at the food stalls. Luke rolled his eye, “Guys, really?” He would’ve expected Reggie to pipe up, at the very least. “Alright, I’ll pick first. Follow me, boys.”

The four of them walked in pairs, Reggie and Luke out front and Willie and Alex in the back. Willie was talking about the one time he snuck a skateboard in here and got chased around by zoo employees, “I wasn’t going to agitate any of the animals, I know better than that, I just figured it’d be easier to get around and, ya know, more fun. Zooming through the zoo and seeing the animals go by. Skating right next to elephants, tigers…it was pretty fun, haha,” he began to laugh and pushed Alex, who lit up and laughed with Willie. “They never caught up to me, even after they broke out the golf carts.”

Luke looked over at Reggie and saw that he was laughing, too. Luke’s smile got a little wider, and he silently thanked Willie for being so much fun to be around, and he looked up to see that they had arrived at their first stop along their animal-filled journey, “Aw, sweet! Reggie, c’mere! Look at those guys!” Luke said, grabbing Reggie’s wrist and pulling him over to a glass enclosure. Inside, there were three gibbons swinging around like they’re on monkey bars. They looked like they were chasing each other. At least, two of them were, and the third seemed to be following behind at more of a distance, watching the others playing their little game of tag. Luke and Reggie watched, cheering on the gibbons as they went back and forth, chasing each other. Reggie cheered on the one while Luke rooted for the other, busting on Reggie whenever his gibbon would catch the other. Willie and Alex decided to join in and cheer on Reggie’s gibbon as well, against all of Luke’s protesting.

After a little while, the gibbons seemed to have enough of their little game and came down from the ropes course they had been swinging from. They went over to their water bowl and decidedly were done for the time being.

Luke crossed his arms and turned to Reggie, gloating, “My gibbon totally won,”

“What do you mean he won?! They were playing tag! There’s not really a winner in _tag_.” Reggie protested.

“I think there is when _your_ gibbon is the one that gave up after being tagged last,” Luke teased.

Reggie pouted, “It’s still _tag_.”

“So where to next?” Luke said. The three began to do that shuffling thing again, “Oh no, I am _not_ choosing every place we go to today. Someone else pick,” he crossed his arms and scanned across the three.

Willie raised his hand, to which Luke raised his eyebrows and gestured at him, “Um, I mean, I’d really like to go see the reptiles. They’ve got some really cool snakes in there.”

“Yeah, man! Let’s go!” Luke said, clapping his hand on Willie’s shoulder and leading the group toward the reptile exhibit. Alex had a sort of… weird face on as they travelled to the reptile exhibit.

“Did… did he say snakes?”

Once they got there, Willie basically mirrored what Luke had done to Reggie, dragging Alex over to one of the biggest enclosures. And by dragging, Luke literally meant _dragging_ Alex over. Alex very clearly did _not_ want to be any closer to the giant snake than he had to be, but Willie insisted that it wouldn’t hurt him, _couldn’t_ hurt him. He is a ghost and is already dead, after all.

“Here, watch this,” Willie said, walking into the exhibit. The large boa was draped over a branch on a small tree, and Willie stood beneath it, pretending to hold up the snake. He did a bunch of poses that got the guys laughing. Luke joined Willie, pretending to get eaten by the snake and such.

Once they came out of the exhibit, Reggie hit the side of Luke’s arm, “Hey, I got somethin’ for ya,” Reggie said, poofing into the exhibit with a huge tortoise. He pretended to sit on its back, riding it like a horse, “Yeeeehaw!” he gestured for one of the guys to hop in, patting the back of its shell. Luke was about to go in there with him when suddenly Alex appeared on the back, leaning into the joke by pretending to have an invisible lasso. Luke and Willie laughed at the other two as they continued to pantomime riding a horse while… being on a tortoise.

Willie sighed as his laughter died down, “He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Luke chuckled, “I mean, I’m not into Alex but objectively yeah I’d say he’s—”

“No, not Alex, though I do agree, he is cute. I meant Reggie. Your _date_.”

Luke laughed, making a face, “What? Reggie’s not my date.”

“Well, Alex is mine, so by default…” Willie elbowed Luke gently in his side, teasing him.

Luke shook his head, laughing lightly, “Nah, man. Reggie’s my best friend. I just brought him here ‘cause he seemed off lately and I know he really likes this place,” Luke looked back at Alex and Reggie, who were off of the tortoise now and sitting in the exhibit it feed it lettuce. Reggie seemed to be doing just fine with picking up stuff, which Luke was happy to see because he knows Reggie was working hard at it.

“Sooooo you _don’t_ think Reggie is cute, then?”

_Well… no… no he is cute. He’s really, really cute. Reggie was the cutest guy I’ve ever seen since… I don’t know. Forever, maybe? There was no beating his joyful, green eyes or the way his smile lights up the entire room, or how his laugh is like music to me. But… Reggie doesn’t think about me like that, so I try not to think about him like that, either. He doesn’t like me so… no sense in hurting myself._

“N-no I mean, I-I-I think he’s cute I just—”

“Who’s cute?” Reggie said, popping back next to the other two alongside Alex. He had a big smile plastered on his face, and Luke was happy to see that this was a real smile this time.

Luke’s mouth hung open, trying to come up with a response, but Willie stepped in, poking at Alex, “Oh we were just talkin’ about _this_ guy right here,”

Alex swatted at his hands, “Willie, Willie, no, stop!” He was laughing, clearly being tickled by the pokes and embarrassed by his boyfriend. They hadn’t stuck a label on it, but that’s what Luke considered them.

_Lucky them. I know Alex didn’t have it easy at home but… it still must be nice to be out. I’ve never told the guys I’m pan and… I don’t know. I think I’ve hidden it for too long and they’d be mad at me for keeping it from them if I told them now. Besides, what’s the point now, right?_

While they were busy being a cute couple and Luke was lost in his own thoughts, Reggie turned to Luke, “So, where to next?”

Luke shrugged, “That’s up to either you or Alex now, Willie and I have already picked.”

Alex managed to escape Willie’s torture, and came over after hearing Luke say that, “Oh, I thought of where I want to go, if Reggie hasn’t decided yet,”

Reggie gestured to him as if giving him the floor, “All yours, man. Lead the way.”

Alex led the group the aquatic section of the zoo. The guys took a bit of a quieter jaunt through this section, looking at all the different fish swim around and the crustaceans crawl along the bottom. Reggie got mesmerized by the jellyfish for a bit and Willie was admiring the baby sea turtles. It was a nice break from their shenanigans, Luke would admit. It didn’t last long though.

“Ooo, ooo, this is what we’re here for! I knew they had some!” Alex gently jogged over to a pool-like enclosure with a glass viewing window. Inside, there were a bunch of otters swimming around and playing, “Oh my god they’re so cute…” Alex fawned. Willie chuckled. “What? Everyone thinks otters are cute. If you don’t you’re just heartless…” he mumbled, looking at the otters.

After the guys watched them for a bit, Luke looked over at Alex. He had a look on his face, a look that Luke recognized from the night they performed “Finally Free”.

Luke nudged Alex, “You know you want to,” Alex nodded, and poofed out of the room.

Reggie and Willie looked around, confused. Luke pointed to the tank in front of them. The two looked in to see Alex swimming around with the otters as he waves to the rest of them. They waved back as he continued swimming around.

Luke continued to watch Alex as he leaned over to Reggie, “So, figure out where you want to go yet? Your stop will be the last one before we head back to Julie’s.”

Reggie shoved his hands in his pockets and looked over at Alex swimming around. He was thinking, Luke could see that.

“Yeah, I think I know where I want to go.” he said with a soft smile.

Alex poofed back into the room next to the three of them, completely dry, “Did you guys know that apparently being made of air means we can’t get soaked from swimming? Because honestly? I didn’t.” Alex said, astounded that he wasn’t soaked through.

“Fun to know, now we’re on to our last stop,” Luke looked to Reggie and gestured in front of him, “Lead the way, Reg.”

Reggie took them to a different section of the zoo, where there are a bunch of open fields and less glass-enclosure types of exhibits. Eventually, they stopped in front of a more forested-type exhibit. None of them could see any animals, so Alex walked over to the sign to read what they were supposed to be looking at.

“What’s a Southern… _Pudu_?” Alex asked Reggie, because there was no picture accompanying the information on the sign.

Reggie was looking around, leaning really far over the railing, and squinting his eyes, “Aw, come on, where are you… I know you’re here…” Reggie said. He leaned back, huffed, and then poofed into the exhibit. Luke saw Reggie spin around, looking for any sign of the animal. At some point in his spin, he stopped and pointed, “There it is! Guys, get over here!” he said, running toward where he was pointing.

Luke looked over at the other guys, shrugged, and poofed over to Reggie. Reggie was crouched down next to a small, brown animal that was lying in the grass, blocked by some trees and bushes to viewers on the walking path. He couldn’t really see what it was because Reggie was in front of it.

“Isn’t it cute? I loved coming here to see these guys. They’re just like a tiny, brown deer with short little legs. And they’re so gentle, too.” Reggie sat down, just watching the animal look around as if listening for something around it. Luke couldn’t hear anything, but he bet its hearing was probably better than his.

“Haha, yeah it is cute,” Luke crouched down next to Reggie and smiled. He wished they could pet it, but he knew that even though they could go beyond the bars and the glass to get closer to the animals that they shouldn’t be _total_ assholes. There’s a reason the fence is there, Luke isn’t dumb.

Alex and Willie poofed in and looked over the two of them, “Oh, okay, so it’s just a deer?”

Reggie shook his head and scoffed, offended, “ _Just_ a deer? Oh, Alex, wait until I show you something magical,” he stood up, brushing the grass off his pants. He started to look around again, moving farther into the exhibit. The guys followed him, figuring they’d be called over anyway.

They walked around the exhibit for a few minutes, not finding whatever Reggie was looking for, “Reggie, if you tell us what you’re looking for we could, ya know, also look?” Alex said.

“Yeah, I know but it’s easier if—wait! Wait there it is! There’s one!” Reggie said, jogging over to what seemed like nothing, but upon a closer look there was a tiny, brown animal with white spots. It had the girth of a small pig, but still had the stature of a deer, “ _This_ , my dear friends, is a baby pudu. They’re tiny and stick their tongues out and are the cutest dang thing you’ll ever see so no, _Alex_ , it is _not_ ‘just a deer’,” he mocked, using air quotes.

As he was making fun of Alex, the baby pudu stood up, looking around like it heard something. Suddenly, two more came out of the nearby brush along with an adult pudu. It bounced over to them, seemingly happy to see them, and the four of them walked over to a nearby shrub, munching on the leaves. The one baby pudu didn’t seem like it wanted to eat as it hovered near the bush but didn’t actually go up to eat anything.

Reggie walked over, plucked a small twig with a few leaves off of the bush, and kneeled down to the pudu, holding the leaves out in front of it. Initially, it backed up a little, but then hesitantly approached the leaves and took a small bite. It chewed slowly and then swallowed it, then came back with much more enthusiasm for a second bite.

Luke watched as a soft, loving smile crossed Reggie’s face. _He’s so adorable and… gentle._ Luke smiled, putting his hands in his pockets and just watching him feed the tiny animal for a bit. Alex and Willie smiled and poofed out of the exhibit, likely to go back on the walking path. Luke walked up to Reggie and the pudu, crouching down next to him.

“I see you’re getting better at the whole ‘interacting with things’ thing.” Luke said, sitting fully down.

Reggie nodded, “Yeah, it’s coming along,” he said quietly, still smiling at the little animal.

The two of them sat there until the pudu ate the last bit of the stem from Reggie’s hand. Then they watched as the pudu scampered off back toward the others and disappear toward the front of the exhibit. Luke stood up and offered Reggie a hand up, which he gladly took. He was still smiling. _Good, I hope he keeps smiling_. “Ready to go, Reg?”

“Yeah, let’s head back with the others. Can we walk out the front, though? I want to feel… normal for a little bit.”

Luke nodded, patting Reggie’s shoulder, “Yeah man, of course.” He smiled.

The two of them poofed back to the front of the exhibit to meet up with Alex and Willie, telling them they were going to walk back to the front, “Oh, Willie actually has to go, so I’m gonna head home with him if that’s okay with you guys,” Alex said, looking back and forth between the two of them for their approval.

Reggie smiled, “Yeah man, you go on ahead. We’ll see you at home.” Alex nodded and the two of them poofed out with a wave, holding each other’s hands.

Luke felt his hand move for a second, as if it had a mind of its own and was trying to reach over for Reggie’s. _Mmmm, yeah, no, hand. Can’t do that. Reggie doesn’t like you like that. He doesn’t even know you’re pan. He still thinks you’re straighter than a board and that you like Julie so… there’s no way he likes you._

“Well, let’s get walkin’. We’re at the way back of the zoo, so it’ll take a sec to get out,” Luke said, as if the walk would distract him from his own thoughts.

The two of them began walking in the direction of the entrance, initially not talking. Luke was a bit concerned by that, but Reggie was still smiling. “So… diiiiid you have a good time?” Luke asked.

Reggie nodded again, “Heck yeah, dude, that was fun! I missed this place, I haven’t come here in forever,” he said, spinning around and throwing his arms up, gesturing to all of the exhibits they were walking by.

“Well, we can always come back if you want to, feed the pudu’s again.” Luke said, smiling wider.

“That’d be nice,” Reggie said, looking over at Luke. They both had their hands in their pockets, but Luke was just trying to avoid his rogue hand from grabbing Reggie’s. They were already walking pretty closely to avoid being walked through, as the zoo was getting a bit more packed now that it was around the time for school to let out. Reggie took his hands out of his pockets after a little bit, hooking his thumbs in his pockets instead.

At some point, Reggie stepped out of the way of another couple walking past them, but he tripped over himself and ended up bumping into Luke, who manage to catch himself and Reggie before they both went tumbling to the ground. They both stood back up, chuckling.

“Hey, thanks for the save there,” Reggie chuckled, smiling at Luke.

Luke smiled back, “Yeah, no problem, Reg. I’ll always catch you.” Luke’s eyes widened.

 _Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that out loud_. _Shit, shit, shit! He’s looking at me weird, I don’t know what that means, crap. Uh, how do I save this?_

“Uh, I just mean, like, I’ve always got your back, man, just like always,” He said trying to save himself from his big mouth.

Reggie shook his head, laughing, “Yeah, I know, Luke. And hey, thanks for this, today. I needed something like this. It was really fun,”

Luke didn’t realize he was still holding Reggie’s hand from when they fell until Reggie gave it a small squeeze before pulling it gently away from Luke’s grip. Luke’s hand felt cold and didn’t realize how warm Reggie’s hand was in his. _I didn’t know I could feel warm anymore_.

“Yeah, no problem, Reg.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen a pudu baby they're so cute!!! Also just saying I've never ever been to the LA zoo so if you've been there please don't crucify me for the probably super inaccurate descriptions of the exhibits, lol. They were all made up, though I did try to stick to animals the real zoo actually has, so there's that.  
> Anyway, next chapter should hopefully be written soon! I know exactly where it's headed and it was originally going to be a part of this chapter but that would have made it twice as long as the first chapter so... yeah.  
> See you soon!


	3. Reality Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex confronts Reggie about why he wants to learn how to move and interact with things so quickly and Reggie gets frustrated. Reggie finally utilizes his new powers, and Reggie is not sure what he was expecting, and isn’t sure that he made things any better. Luke tries to figure out what is going on with Reggie through Alex. Luke comforts Reggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a good holiday season! Sorry for the bit of delay, I spent some quality time with family and my fiance and I've been practicing other hobbies, but now I've got some time to write if I want to! Thanks for reading! :)

“Yeah that’s it, c’mon, keep going, keep going!” Alex cheered Reggie on as he and Reggie practiced moving the table in the studio around. Alex was already pretty good at focusing on putting all of his energy into his hands, but Reggie was still struggling with it. Because of that, they weren’t lifting the table very far above the ground as to avoid breaking it when it quite literally slips through Reggie’s hands.

Just as they were almost finished with their lap, the table hit the ground with a small _thunk_ , and Reggie groaned, “Damnit!” he kicked at the air, feeling defeated. They had been practicing whenever they could, but Reggie couldn’t even hold on to a table for more than five seconds. How was he supposed to do anything about his parents?

Reggie sulked over to the couch, reclining as his head rested on top, looking up at the chairs suspended from the ceiling. They were moving just ever so slightly. It was barely noticeable. _Just like me_ , Reggie thought.

Alex walked over to Reggie, hands in his pockets, poking Reggie with his foot, “It’s alright man, it’s about time we took a break anyway. You’re probably just tired,” he plopped down next to Reggie and looked at him.

 _Tired of not being able to lift a stupid table_.

“Yeah, maybe.” Reggie said quietly. He wasn’t trying to sulk, but he was trying _so_ hard to do this. He felt so powerless, even when he _could_ lift the table. The heavier the object, the harder it was for him. The flowers he could pick up and toss around all day, he could play darts, he could even catch a pillow that one of the guys launched at him. But anything beyond like… a pitcher of _water_ was too heavy for him. How was he weaker in the afterlife? Couldn’t ghosts do all that cool stuff like make bookcases float and doors slam shut on command? Why couldn’t Reggie do that?

Alex sighed.

_Oh, here he goes again._

“Reggie, what’s going on?”

_And there it is._

Reggie sat up, holding his hands together, “Nothing’s goin’ on, I’m just a bit frustrated with not being able to pick stuff up like you and Luke can,” He was wringing his hands again. He noticed this time, and he stopped himself. He knew Luke and Alex knew his nervous habits like that, so if he could just stop himself from doing them then maybe they’d leave him alone and stop asking.

“Hm, yeah, I don’t think so, and _no,_ you’re not brushing me off this time,”

_Ah… great…_

“Alex, really, I’m fi—”

“No, you’re not,” Alex cut him off, sternly. “Cut it with the bullshit, Reg. Luke and I can both see that something is up. You’re not acting like… you. Why are you getting so frustrated over picking up a table? It doesn’t matter!”

Reggie stood up quickly, “Yes it does!” he shouted. _Damnit, he got to me. Welp, no getting out of this hole_. Reggie took a breath, walking away from the couch and picking up his guitar, hoping he could just avoid the conversation. _Avoiding things is my specialty, after all_.

Before he could even put the strap over his shoulder, Alex took the guitar out of his hands and put it back down, looking Reggie determinedly in the eyes. Alex wasn’t normally the type to get angry, but there were times when this more aggressive side would show itself. Usually, it was when Luke, Reggie, or Bobby was about to do or say something dumb. _Mother hen, Alex_.

Reggie stormed away from Alex, heading out through the double-doors of the studio. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He wasn’t angry, he might’ve been a bit annoyed, but he mostly was just anxious. He didn’t want to tell Alex or Luke about his parents, because they had bigger things to worry about. He could handle this on his own and didn’t need them worrying about him or his parents, and he didn’t want them to see how bad it had gotten. _I don’t know why, but every cell in my body is screaming for them to never find out about this and Alex is making that really hard, so I really need him to—_

“Reggie, stop!” Alex said, trotting after him and grabbing his shoulder. Reggie shrugged it off, turning around to face him and keeping his distance.

He crossed his arms and remained silent, looking at the ground, hoping Alex could see that he wasn’t in the mood to talk and was, quite frankly, starting to get annoyed of ‘mother hen Alex.’

“Dude, what is going on? Why are you shutting us out? Do you not trust us? …Do you not trust _me_?”

Reggie leaned to one side and groaned, “No, dude, that’s not it. I just… don’t want to talk about it, alright?”

“No, it’s not alright, Reg. Clearly, it’s something that’s really bothering you and it’s not the table. Why is learning to interact with things such a big deal to you?” Alex said, trying to make eye contact with Reggie, get him to open up.

Reggie stood there, still looking at the floor, weighing his options. His body was screaming to run away, poof away, do anything but talk. But on the other hand, if he tells Alex then he’ll stop bugging him. And Alex wouldn’t try and do anything regarding his parents, unlike Luke. Luke would come barreling in like a knight in shining armor. It’s a nice thought, but Reggie really, _really_ doesn’t want either of them to see his parents like this. He really doesn’t want Luke to know.

He sighed, “Alright, fine. Whatever. Let’s go back inside before Luke gets back. I’ll talk, but you have to promise me you _won’t_ tell Luke, okay? He _can’t_ know.”

Alex looked at him, concerned, “Okay, man. I won’t.” He said, following Reggie back inside.

Reggie stood in the middle of the studio, arms crossed, and he pointed to the couch indicating to Alex to sit down. Alex did as he indicated and sat down on the couch, leaning forward, ready to listen to whatever Reggie was about to say.

Reggie stayed silent for a bit, opening his mouth occasionally, like he was about to start talking, but then had second thoughts. He was pacing just a little, more so just turning in place. Eventually, he stopped, turned to Alex, and sighed.

“I... I didn't just find my parents. I went to... go see them.”

Alex nodded his head slowly, waiting for the rest of Reggie’s story before jumping to any conclusions, “Ah.”

“Yeah, ‘ah’, and it’s not… it’s not good. I thought, ya know, maybe now that I was gone, they’d get along better. They were always yelling and fighting with each other, and a lot of the time it was about me or something I did or didn’t do, and so I figured I’d find them and see if things were better now that I’m a ghost, but they’re not better.”

Reggie was talking really quickly, barely taking any breaths, and he was getting himself worked up. But fuck it, Alex wanted to know, so he’s gonna know!

“Oh no, they are _much_ worse. I-I had to watch my dad _hit_ my mom, and I couldn’t do anything about it! All I could do was _stand_ there and _watch_ while my mom who thought I wasn’t good for anything got _assaulted_ by my dad who always thought that me being bi was the worst thing in the world and all I was good for was _getting him a beer_!” Reggie was shouting now, letting it all pour out. He was no longer crossing his arms, waving them all over the place as he became more and more animated and upset.

Alex listened on in stunned silence. He had always known that Reggie’s parents fought and that when Reggie finally ran away to live in the studio that it had gotten worse that night, but Reggie never said _how_ much worse, and Alex was starting to wonder just what exactly had happened.

“So yeah, Alex, I’m a bit _friggin’_ frustrated by not being able to pick up a stupid table because it means I can’t do anything to help my parents, either!” As he yelled, he kicked at the table, but his foot went right through it and he stumbled backwards, nearly falling. He growled in frustration.

Alex stood up and approached Reggie who went back to crossing his arms as he breathed shakily. He turned away from Alex as he tried not to cry. His eyes had other ideas though as a tear ran down the side of his face. He quickly wiped it away.

Alex put a hand on Reggie’s back as he sniffled, still trying to control his breathing. Alex just stood there for a few seconds, rubbing Reggie’s back, until Reggie turned toward him and looked at him. At that point, Alex pulled him into a hug and Reggie quietly cried into Alex’s shoulder as he continued rubbing circles into his back.

“Hey, it’s okay, buddy. Shhh…shhhh… it’s alright. It’ll be alright.” He continued to comfort Reggie until he seemed to settle down, leaning away from the hug and wiping as his face.

He sniffled, “Thanks, Alex. Sorry.”

Alex put his hands on his shoulders, “Hey, none of that. You don’t need to apologize for having feelings. Besides, _I’m_ the sensitive one, so who would I be if I judged you for crying?” he joked, shaking Reggie a bit. Reggie cracked a small smile, which made Alex smile. Reggie didn’t feel all the way better, but that… that helped. He was glad Alex was such a good friend.

Reggie nodded, “Yeah, okay. Thanks.” He said, and they fist-bumped. “But seriously, you can’t tell Luke.” Reggie reaffirmed with Alex.

Alex shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned on one leg, “Can I ask why? You know Luke cares about you and would want to know why you’ve been so quiet. He’d want to help.”

“I know, I know… but you know Luke. He’s going to want to storm in there and help me and… and I don’t want that right now. This is something I gotta take care of on my own.” Reggie said, determined to not get his friend involved.

Alex nodded, but added, “Alright, but you know that we’re always here for you man, okay? No judgement. Anything you need and we’ve got your back, always.” He patted Reggie’s back.

Reggie smiled, nodding. After a brief pause, Reggie gestured to the table, “You mind if we try the table again?”

Alex smiled and patted Reggie on the back, “Yeah man, let’s go.”

~~~~~

Luke had been at Julie’s school writing some songs with her during her free period. Once school was over the two of them came home, Julie heading into the house to get some homework done before coming out for band practice, and Luke coming out to the studio to greet the guys.

“Hey boys, how’s it goin’?” Luke and Alex did a little handshake/fistbump thing, and Luke came over to do the same with Reggie, who greeted him eagerly, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He could see that Luke was surprised by his change in demeanor from this morning’s band practice where he still wasn’t 100%. After having talked with Alex and practicing a bit more, he felt a lot better. More like himself.

“Pretty good, pretty good!” Reggie chirped happily, “You ready to get back to practice?” he said, walking backwards toward his bass.

Luke scrunched his eyebrows and smiled, looking back toward Alex with a questioning look, “Um, yeah! Yeah, man! Let’s kill this thing.” He snatched up his guitar and slung it over him without a moment’s hesitation.

Alex plopped down behind his drums and picked up his sticks, twirling one in his hand, “Alright, what are we playing?”

Luke began telling them about the new songs that he and Julie were working on and how he wanted to work out some of the melodies with them. While he was talking to Alex about what he was thinking regarding Alex’s part, Reggie looked on at the two of them. Luke was so animated, bouncing around, full of energy. It made Reggie smile as he watched them talk. Luke was always a beacon of light to Reggie, someone who he could look to if he needed to feel better or just needed someone to be around. He was the person that Reggie always went to when he was upset because he trusted Luke with his whole heart. Luke was a genuinely nice person and all he ever wanted to do was make other people feel good.

_And boy does he make me feel… something. Nice isn’t a good enough word for it. He makes me feel amazing, like I could do anything. He makes me feel energized when I’m tired, loved when I feel alone, and he makes me feel like I’m actually important and that I could tell him anything._

That’s why it killed Reggie that he was keeping this from Luke, but he had to.

The three of them practiced for a while, sounding much better than before. Reggie was finally feeling it, and he knew Luke noticed. Reggie was back to sharing the mic with Luke and bouncing around like used to. And he wasn’t acting, which felt nice. Everything he was doing—smiling, laughing, bouncing around—was entirely real in that moment. No acting.

Of course, sharing the mic with Luke came with its own set of complications. For instance: Luke was all-around _hot_. Reggie doesn’t believe that there was a more beautiful person that Luke Patterson. His blue eyes looked like a wild, choppy sea, his wide smile whenever he was singing made his heart do backflips, and it was really, really hard not to just examine every facet of his dumb, perfect face while singing with him. But Reggie always managed it because they “ _ooze_ chemistry”.

Julie had come in and practiced a few songs with them as well, but that meant Reggie didn’t get as much mic time with Luke as he gave her pointers and they worked on the song even more. He hated to admit it, but he was jealous of Julie. Julie was clearly the apple of Luke’s eye. The way her looked at her with all the affection and admiration in the world, the way he would praise her and say that she ‘has the voice of an angel,’—it’s true, he’s said it himself, but Reggie just wanted Luke to look at him that way. He knew it’d never happen because Luke was straight and already had someone he liked. Reggie needed to re-digest this fact every once in a while as a reality-check to bring him out of his fantasy-world where maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for them to be a thing.

When they were done for the night, Julie said goodnight to the guys and headed back to the house and up to her room. Reggie waved to her as she left, and she returned his wave with a smile, closing the double-doors. She left the lights on because it wasn’t really visible from the house that the lights were on, and the guys were able to interact with the light switch really easily. The boys put their instruments away and settled down for the night. Luke took his place lounging on the couch, Reggie perched in the armchair, and Alex sat in a beanbag chair that they found in the loft.

Luke put his hands behind his head and smiled, “That was awesome today, you guys. We’re really killin’ it.” He said excitedly, looking directly at Reggie.

Reggie smiled softly back at Luke, “Hey man, they’re your songs, we’re just bringing ‘em to life.”

Alex poked Reggie with his foot, “Don’t be modest, Reginald. You were great today.”

Reggie laughed, a bit embarrassed from all of the attention he was being given from the others. He looked back at Luke, “Thank you,” he said, giving Luke a proper response.

There was a brief pause until Luke sat up, “So for tomorrow, I was thinking we could rework the bridge for that last song we played with Julie. It’s almost there, but it just… doesn’t feel right. Sound good?”

Alex gave Luke a thumbs-up, “Yeah, man. Good with me.”

Reggie looked back and forth between Luke and Alex, “I, uh, I actually have something I need to do…tomorrow… so I can’t really stay for practice.”

Luke’s smile faded, replaced by confusion, “Oh, okay. Whatcha up to, Reg?”

Reggie shrugged, trying to act like he was playing off what he was going to do when what he was _actually_ going to do was see his parents again. “Oh, I uh, bugged Willie into helping me learn to pick stuff up. Isn’t he cool?” Reggie let out a weak laugh that said _oh dear god please believe me and don’t ask any questions_.

“Oh yeah, that’s cool, that’s cool. Willie is the one that taught Alex after all. He’s been doing this longer than any of us.” Luke said, nodding. He could see that Luke was disappointed, which hurt, but he couldn’t go back now. There was no chickening out: he had to do this. “How’s that goin’, by the way?” Luke looked back and forth between the others, looking for an answer.

Alex piped up, “Yeah, it’s going good! Reggie and I can now successfully be table-ghosts.”

That comment prompted a pillow being chucked at him by Reggie, which hit him square in the face. The three chuckled, turning in for the night soon after. Reggie was glad that Alex didn’t say anything to Luke, but he was still anxious about tomorrow regardless.

~~~~~

Reggie’s hands were sweaty.

He was pacing outside of his parent’s house on the porch for about ten minutes, trying to figure out what he was actually going to do, what he was going to say… he didn’t really have a plan for this. It was late in the afternoon, as he decided to come over after band practice as he still felt guilty about ditching the guys, so he stayed to practice just for a bit.

He didn’t have the time to come up with a plan, though, as he heard crashing coming from inside. He stopped pacing and ran in, looking around to see what had happened.

From the front door, he could see his parents in the living room. The coffee table was flipped over, a mug broken and a brown stain was pervading into the carpet. His mom was backing away from the looming figure of his dad as he glared at her with an alcohol-fueled rage, a beer still clutched in his hand.

“You dumb bitch! How could you _forget_ to pay the cable bill? You don’t _do_ anything else! It’s one. Simple. Thing. _One_ thing!” The louder he got, the closer he moved to her, and the farther away from him she attempted to get. “And now, you’ve ruined the fucking carpet! That’s your fault!” he shouted, pointing at the spilled coffee.

They had backed out of the living room and into the kitchen. As Reggie’s mother shakily stepped backwards, focusing on her husband as he approached, she tripped over the leg of one of the barstools at the counter. In her panic, she grabbed at the chair in a desperate attempt to remain upright, but this failed and only resulted in the fall of the chair as well, on top of her. She groaned as she pushed the now broken wooden chair off of her, continuing to back-pedal away from Reggie’s father.

Reggie watched on, both wanting to run toward and run away from what was happening. His dad examined the chair for a moment before he visibly became angrier.

Reggie looked at his mom. She was terrified. She didn’t look good last time, and she looked worse this time. Reggie didn’t notice before, but now he could see her hair was a lot thinner than before, and she looked so fragile. Reggie wasn’t a monster—he felt immense pain for her. His mother might have treated him like shit, but that didn’t mean she deserved any of this. This was his mom. But as far as Reggie was concerned, the man towering over her was the farthest thing from a father Reggie could imagine. The man who hit him and did _this_ to the supposed woman he loved? _He_ was the monster.

Reggie glared at him, ready to charge forward. He felt weird… empowered. He stepped between his mom and his father. It wasn’t like Reggie to feel angry, and he didn’t like the feeling of anger pulsing through him. He calmed himself to something more of a simmering anger.

“You fucking—” Reggie’s father pulled his arm back, getting ready to throw the bottle he was holding at his mom. He released it, but then it looked like the bottle stopped in midair. Little did they know, Reggie caught the bottle sideways and the rest of the beer spilled out onto the floor. He turned the bottle upright and forcefully put it down on the counter. Crossing his arms.

His dad shook his head as if trying to snap himself out of a stupor. He went to grab the bottle again, but Reggie was holding it down. It seemed that Reggie was stronger as a ghost than he would have been when he was alive, which caused his father to not be able to lift the bottle as Reggie held it down.

“What the _fuck?_ ” his father grunted.

Reggie released the bottle when his father gave it a hard tug, sending him stumbling backwards. He looked at the bottle in his hand, now more confused than angry, but managed to turn immediately back to Reggie’s mom and continue his pursuit again.

 _Seriously? That’s not gonna make him stop? He’s gotta be drunk out of his mind…_ Reggie didn’t know what else to do. He watched as his father got closer and closer to his mom, and Reggie began to panic.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, what do I do? I can’t… I can’t…I can’t do anything else but touch the bottle!_

Right as his father was about to try throwing the bottle again, Reggie hit the bottle out of his hand, sending it flying across the kitchen. It hit the fridge and shattered, covering the floor and his mom in broken glass. Reggie was shaking as the sound of breaking glass seemed to startle something in him. He looked at his hand, then at the glass, and then finally back to his father.

His father ran a hand down his face, backing away from the whole scene. He pointed around the house, grabbing behind him for keys to the truck. “I’m… I’m fucking out of here.” He practically ran out of the front door, slamming it shut, leaving Reggie and his mom in the kitchen.

Reggie turned around and looked down at his mom. She was shaking and staring at the glass in her lap. She stood up carefully, stepping around the broken glass and using the chair as a support. She looked at the seemingly empty space where Reggie was standing, and she took a deep breath. Reggie wondered if she could see him.

“Mom?” he asked, quietly, but she didn’t respond as she brushed the glass off of her and continued to look around. Reggie had no idea what she was thinking, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted her to be able to see him. But… he felt like she could, in some way.

She shook her head and moved over to the closet under the staircase, pulling out a broom and dustpan. She swept up the broken glass and dumped it in the trash can. She pulled out a step stool from next to the fridge and set it up in front of some of the kitchen cabinets. She pulled down a bottle of Riesling from the top of the cabinets, pulled the cork out, and gave herself a heavy pour into a chipped wine glass. She drank about half of the glass before putting it back down and sighing.

Reggie didn’t know what to do at this point. He wished he could say something to his mom, let her know that he’s there. He thought that she knew but… still. It didn’t feel great not being able to do anything else. What did he even _do_? Aside from freak out his father, he didn’t do much. He might’ve just made things a lot worse for his mom. _Shit, I really didn’t think this through. What if he comes back and blames her more? I shouldn’t have done anything. I shouldn’t have come here._ He was panicking. He felt like he couldn’t breathe as the reality of what just happened hit him. He really did just make things worse, didn’t he?

He was spiraling. He needed to get out of there, and he poofed back to the studio without another thought.

~~~~~

Luke and Alex were left in the studio after a brief band practice before Reggie had to go see Willie. Luke didn’t know Reggie was talking to Willie, but it made sense. Reggie wanted to get better at interacting with stuff and Willie was the guy to do it. He just hoped Willie wasn’t going to teach him that car alarm-type trick that he had done when they met him, Reggie would probably use it pretty often.

Luke smiled to himself as he threw a dart at the dartboard. It didn’t hit anywhere special, just a bit up and right of the bullseye. _Though, that could be really fun and would be another way we could mess with Bobby if we ever have the time to do that again. Reggie would have a really good time with that._

Alex was sitting over on the couch thumbing through one of the magazines that were laying around the studio. Luke couldn’t see what the magazine actually was, but Alex didn’t seem very interested in it.

Luke threw another dart, again, not hitting the bullseye “So, when did you get Willie involved in Reggie’s ‘training’?”

Alex raised his eyebrows and looked up from the magazine. Not at Luke, just up in general, looking around the room. “Uh, ya know, there’s only so much I can really do, and Willie is way better at this stuff than I am so I set them up, and uh… yeah.” He smiled at Luke, nodded once in affirmation as if he was saying _“Yep, that’s my story!”_ And then went back to reading his magazine, now seeming more interested and involved in it than before.

_Well, that… was weird._

Luke gave Alex a weird look, “Yeah, that’s cool, man.” He threw another dart at the board, just barely missing the bullseye this time. After a brief pause, he turned to Alex, “Hey, has Reggie talked to you at all? About anything?”

Alex seemed to tense up. Luke knew the answer just from that reaction. The boys have known each other long enough to know one another’s tells, and Alex wasn’t a great liar, to begin with. Alex _hated_ lying, and the other two knew that.

However, Alex was great at keeping secrets. You could always get him to admit something was up, but you’d never find out what was actually up from him. He’d sooner _die_ before telling you someone else’s business. _Which, I guess he did._ That didn’t stop Luke from trying though.

Alex shook his head and made an unconvincing, innocent face, “Nah, just the usual stuff about the band and Caleb and… stuff.” Luke could tell Alex knew he wasn’t doing well.

Luke threw his last dart and it hit the bullseye, dead-on. He turned and trudged over to Alex, sitting down in the armchair. “C’mon, Alex. I know you’re hiding something. Is Reggie okay? He’s been acting weird and I… I just want to help him.”

Alex put down the magazine, “Yeah, I know. But I can’t tell you, Luke. I’m sorry. I promised Reggie. I’m sure he’ll come to you when he needs you. He always does.”

As if summoning him, Reggie poofed into the studio, looking disheveled and disoriented. He was breathing a bit heavily, shaking, and looked like he was about to cry. Luke stood up and carefully started toward him.

“Reg? You okay? What happened?”

Reggie looked at Luke and almost immediately his face scrunched and he began crying. He crumpled to the floor as Luke ran over to him, enveloping him in a hug. Luke could tell that Reggie was actively trying to control how much he was crying as he held him. He ran his hand up and down Reggie’s back, “It’s okay, man,” he said, quietly, “Just let it out.”

Reggie wrapped his arms around Luke and hugged him, crying a bit harder now. Luke continued to comfort him but looked up at Alex with a pleading look. _What the fuck happened to Reggie?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight cliffhanger, but hopefully I won't leave you guys hanging for too long this time. I will be diving back into grad school soon so hopefully, I can crank out one more chapter before things get busy again and chapter postings might be a bit more spread out.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! :) Happy New Year, again!


	4. That Incorporeal Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke confronts Alex as he refuses to give Luke the full picture of Reggie’s problems, causing tensions to rise between the two. The band is very off the next couple of practices, and Julie notices. Reggie thinks that Luke doesn’t actually care about him, but just about his performance affecting the band as he blames himself for their recent rut. Luke and Julie have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I have to be productive tomorrow so no staying up late.  
> Also me: Posting this at 1:20 AM.
> 
> Not a lot of Reggie in this chapter! But a lot of talk about Reggie. This is the last chapter I have written before I have to go back to grad school, so the next chapter may be a bit delayed. Though I did have a lot of fun writing this one. Also, did you know there's set pictures online? Great references for scenes: https://www.markhofeling.com/jatp1/
> 
> Also! Take note! I established there's only gonna be 7 chapters! I might add one more, but no more than 8. We're halfway done!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Update (02/14/2021): I appreciate everyone's support! I wanted to let you guys know that I have not forgotten about this story and that I am still working on writing it. However, I am really busy at the moment, so it is a very, very slow going process. Thanks for your patience :)

It took a while, but Reggie calmed down eventually, tiring himself out. Luke had picked him up and laid him down on the couch. He pulled a blanket over Reggie and he was quickly lulled to sleep.

Luke turned around and signaled to Alex to meet him outside. He poofed out first, followed by Alex after a moment. Alex pursed his lips and crossed his arms, bouncing his leg.

“Alright, _now_ will you tell me what the hell is going on? What happened to Reggie?” Luke demanded, pointing toward the studio where one of his best friends is sleeping off some sort of breakdown that Luke had no idea what it was caused by.

Alex shifted uncomfortably, “Luke, you know I—”

“Seriously?” Luke snapped, “You’re _still_ going to throw the whole ‘but I promised’ thing back at me? After seeing Reggie like that? Whatever he’s going through right now is promise-breaking territory, Alex.” Luke was raising his voice. He knew, but he didn’t care. Reggie slept like a rock, especially after whatever caused him to be like that.

“It’s not my place to say, Luke! And besides, I-I-I don’t even actually know what he did!” Alex was getting louder as well.

“Well, what _do_ you know, Alex? ‘Cause I’d really like to be fucking clued in, here.”

Alex looked around, pushing out his cheek with his tongue. He clearly was thinking about what to say, or rather, what he _could_ say without breaking his promise to Reggie. He was bouncing his leg faster now.

Luke was getting impatient, “I’m holding my breath here.” He crossed his arms.

Alex shoved his hands in his pockets and turned towards Luke, “He found his parents,” Alex said, shaking his head, “That’s all you’re getting outta me,” he said, shrugging.

Luke knew what Reggie’s situation was like when the three of them were alive. Luke knew that meant screaming and fighting and… sometimes worse. And Luke knew Reggie just went through something horrible for him to just crumple like that.

“Okay… well what happened?” Luke wanted answers. He wanted to know what he needed to do to make Reggie feel better, to fix whatever was wrong. It killed him to see Reggie like that.

Silence fell between the two as Alex didn’t answer. He didn’t look at Luke.

“Alex?” Nothing. “Alex, c’mon, man!” Luke said, coming closer, practically in Alex’s face. He could see Alex’s expression tighten, as if he was clenching his jaw. Still nothing. “This isn’t about me, Alex, this is about Reggie and trying to actually _help_ him with whatever the hell is going on with him and his parents, and I can’t fucking help him if you don’t say anything!”

Alex spun around sharply and he shouted, “You don’t think that I know that?” he paused, calming himself a tad, “You don’t think I want to help him with whatever he’s doing? I don’t _know_ what he’s doing, Luke. I genuinely don’t. know. What Reggie told me, he told me in confidence. What he told me is really, really personal, and I’d be a shitty friend for just spilling _his_ guts to you. This isn’t just about me keeping a promise or a secret, it’s about Reggie being ready to tell you when he’s ready because _it isn’t my place to say_.”

Before Luke could argue further, he saw Julie approach the two of them, “Oh, hey, Julie.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, now feeling uncomfortable that she probably just overheard the two of them arguing.

She looked between the two of them, “Are you guys alright? What was with all the yelling? And where’s Reggie?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, we’re fine. Just a little disagreement.” Alex said, now crossing his arms.

Luke piped up, “Yeah, we’re cool.” _We’re not, but Julie has enough to deal with._

She did that smile that said _‘Okay, sure, I’m just gonna gloss over that’_ and looked between the two of them, “Ooookay, so… Reggie?”

Alex and Luke looked at each other before Luke piped up, “Oh, he’s just takin’ a nap. Alex and Willie are just _killin’_ him with the training, you know?” he said, shoving Alex maybe a little more forcefully than necessary. _I’m mad, sue me._

Julie nodded her head slowly, “Coooool, okay. I’m glad you’re all goooood, so I’m just gonna… go back up to my room then?” The boys nodded, “…Kay, then.” She waved, spun around, and walked back up the stairs and through the gate to the front of the house.

Once she was out of sight, Luke and Alex looked at each other. Alex was clearly less than pleased with Luke, and Luke was just as annoyed with Alex. _I can’t believe him_.

Alex shook his head and poofed out, Luke wasn’t sure where to, though he was probably going to see Willie.

Luke trudged back inside the studio and plopped down on the bean bag chair across from the couch. He was still upset and sitting there and stewing in it was not making him feel any better.

He looked at Reggie. Reggie was still sound asleep, and he hadn’t moved an inch. His chest was moving up and down slowly and his mouth was open just ever so slightly, just enough for his breath to escape his lips and fresh air to rush back in. He looked so small under the huge blanket that covered him. His hair was still somehow perfectly picturesque, too. And after seeing Reggie panicking and sob into him, it was nice for Luke to see him so calm. It made Luke feel calmer, too.

He scooted the bean bag chair closer to the couch, right next to Reggie’s head. He put his hand on the top of Reggie’s head, gently stroking a tiny section of his hair with his thumb.

_Why didn’t you come to me, Reg? What couldn’t you tell me?_

~~~~~

The next few days were filled with band practice, hammering out the final kinks in the songs. However, with so much going on between the boys, they were anything but perfect during practice.

Luke dead stopped in the middle of a song, turning around and approaching Alex, “Alex, you’re going _way_ too fast, you need to chill out.” Luke said, voice laced with annoyance.

Alex’s leg was bouncing the entire practice, and not in the good drummer-kind of way. Every time they were around halfway through a song, they would start to sound out of sync and Luke, Reggie, and Julie would notice the gradual shift to a faster tempo as provided by Alex. It made the song sound weird, and Reggie wouldn’t always catch Alex speeding up and then he’d be behind, while Luke and Julie were struggling to catch their breath between lines. This had been happening for days now. The guys just couldn’t seem to sync up anymore.

Alex shrugged and mumbled something under his breath.

“What?”

Alex looked up at Luke, leg still bouncing, “I said, maybe _you guys_ just need to keep up.”

Luke shook his head, “Just slow down.” He turned back to his mic, nodding toward Reggie to check on him. Reggie gave him an awkward, strained smile. He could tell Reggie knew something happened between him and Alex, but he hadn’t asked about it luckily. Luke turned to look at Julie, giving her a smile with pursed lips and raised eyebrows, “Alright Julie, let’s try this… _again_.”

Julie looked around at the boys, none of them meeting her eyes except Luke who just nodded for her to start on the keyboard when she was ready. She sighed. Clearly, the guys’ energy was getting to her now, too. Luke could tell that she wanted to ask them what was wrong, but he also thinks she was doing that weird thing that girls do.

 _You know, where they kind of just… look at you and know things about you and how you’re feeling that maybe you don’t even realize._ _Girls are freakin’ weird sometimes._

For the rest of practice, Alex did end up slowing down to the correct tempo, but he was drumming really loudly. Luke swore that he had a ghost-headache by the end of it. Apparently, it had gotten to Julie as well, because she was rubbing one of her temples as they cleaned up their gear.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go inside and lay down. I think I overdid it today. Killer headache,” she pointed to her head, then paused to look at the three of them. Luke and the guys were all looking at her, looks of slight worry and guilt on display. The three of them loved Julie, she was their family, and Luke hated that now two of the people he cared about most in this world were hurting. Julie’s problem, of course, could be solved by taking a nap or some Tylenol, but still, it sucked that the guys’ problems were affecting _her_ now.

Reggie spoke up first, “You feelin’ okay, Julie?”

She smiled at him, “Yeah, yeah. I probably just need to drink water or something. I’m so bad at that.” She said, laughing.

_Yeah, she’s lying. Nervous laugh? Dead giveaway. Julie’s too nice to call anyone out, to call us out._

“Are you guys doing alright? You just seemed a bit… not all together tonight.”

She looked around. The guys nodded their heads and shrugged.

“Anything I can help with maybe?”

They shook their heads.

“Alright, well, goodnight, guys. Sleep well.” She smiled at the three of them, love emanating from her eyes. She left through the studio, leaving the three of them there in silence.

Reggie took his guitar off himself, placing it in the stand and shaking out his hands. He walked over and sat down in his chair, putting his feet on the arm and his back against the other arm. Luke watched as Reggie began playing with his hands, occasionally stopping to pick at his fingers.

Luke turned to look at Alex, who was looking down at his own hands and spinning one of his drumsticks lazily. Or, less so lazily than… sadly? He looked like someone took away his puppy. He was still bouncing his leg, too.

_I guess he feels guilty because of Julie’s headache…_

Luke looked down at his own hands and absentmindedly fingered the strings on his guitar. He didn’t like where they all were at the moment. They were all inside their own heads and he was mad at Alex, Alex was probably still annoyed at him and now upset that he hurt Julie, and he’s also dealing with whatever Reggie told him. Luke could only guess what was going through Reggie’s head, since he didn’t know.

Luke sighed quietly, taking his guitar off, too. He was tired.

_No one is letting me in so I can help, and I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on. I feel like I’m just saying the same thing over and over and over again…_

He stood up and stretched. Luke walked over to the couch and laid down, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.

_If Alex isn’t going to tell me anything then I’m going to have to just ask Reg directly._

Luke looked over at Reggie who was still fixated on his hands. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Alex was no longer behind the drums, nor anywhere in the studio. He took note of that before turning his attention back to Reggie.

~~~~~

“Hey, Reg?”

Reggie looked up, a bit startled by Luke’s voice, “Yeah, Luke?” He sat up a bit more from his previously reclined position.

“We’re still close, right? Best friends?” Luke sounded so unsure, so tiny.

_Whoa, where did that come from?_

“Y-Yeah, yeah, of course, Luke.” He sat fully up, facing Luke, “Why do you ask?”

Luke also sat up, “And you’d still tell me if something was bothering you, right? You still trust me?”

_Shit, he knows something. I didn’t mean to make him think I didn’t trust him. I just… Crap, Alex, what did you tell him?_

“Luke…” Reggie’s voice was soft and sad, “Luke of course I still trust you. I’ll always trust you, man.” He said, looking at him and thinking _I’m sorry, please know that this isn’t something about you._

Luke nodded slowly, “Okay. Thanks, Reg. Just makin’ sure.” He reached over, giving Reggie’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Reggie looked at him, smiling. Luke shot him a smile back before continuing, “You gonna be okay for practice tomorrow? I noticed you were spacing here and there.”

_Oh… that’s why he was asking. I was messing up the songs. I was “spacing”. He’s worried about the band, not me. I am the entire reason we’re in this rut after all. I guess Alex didn’t tell him anything. Sorry for doubting you, Alex. My bad…just like a lot of things._

He gave Luke a thumbs-up, a more forced smile showing through this time, “Yep, yeah. I’ll be all good tomorrow. Sorry.” _At least, I’ll try to be. This kinda hurts on top of everything else I’ve fucked up._

“No need to apologize, Reg. I know you’ve got this.” Luke locked eyes with Reggie, but Reggie’s interpretation of Luke’s pretty smile was clouded by the doubt that Luke was actually concerned about him.

“Hey, I’m gonna be gone for a sec, I’ll be back though, ‘kay?” he nodded, and Luke shot him another smile along with some finger guns before jumping backwards and poofing out of the room.

~~~~~

Luke poofed outside the studio. He looked in at the light, dropping his smile. He was trying to be happy for Reggie, to help him feel better by not being upset around him, but Luke was lost. Reggie was still not talking to him and he didn’t know what to do. He felt like his friends were blocking him off, cutting him out of the family. He didn’t feel like a real person in this situation.

Luke looked over to the house and saw Julie’s room had a light on.

He looked around and picked up some pebbles from the garden. He walked beneath he window and threw one gently. Luke waited, but she didn’t come to the window. He threw another, this time with a bit more force, and it made a slightly louder _tink_ against the window. He threw another for good measure, and that one hit the window right as Julie approached, causing her to flinch back. She looked down to see who was throwing the rocks. Luke waved sheepishly.

She signaled for him to come up. Luke nodded and poofed in. Julie’s hair was down and she had changed into a set of lilac pajama pants and a baggy white T-shirt. She was climbing back on her bed when he poofed in, standing in the middle of the room. She sat at the head of her bed with a journal, looking at him.

“Hey, Julie. How’s your head doin’?”

She shrugged, “Eh, it’s a little better now that I’ve chilled for a bit, but there’s still something buzzing around in there.” She smiled at him, “Thanks for asking, that was thoughtful. The rocks, however…”

He scratched the back of his head, “Yeah, sorry, I just wasn’t sure how to get your attention without violating our ‘boundaries’ so… rocks.” He said, smiling a shy little smile.

She rolled her eyes, amused. She patted the end of her bed, “C’mon, sit. Is there something actually wrong that you didn’t want to say in front of the guys?”

Luke brought his hands together in front of him, holding his fist in the other, and he walked over to the bed and sat down. He cracked his knuckles (which he didn’t know he could do until this very moment) and sighed.

“How are girls so good at doing that?”

She smiled proudly, “We have a sixth sense for this sort of thing. Also, it’s called reading a room. Not exclusive to girls. Guys and nonbinaries can do it too, ya know. So… what’s up?” she pulled the covers over her legs, sitting cross-legged.

He pursed his lips and thought about how he wanted to phrase everything.

“I’ve… kinda got _two_ problems that are really the _same_ problem but I’ve kinda _made_ them into two separate ones by accident. And I didn’t know what to do because I kinda feel like I just keep getting nowhere. And you seem like you’re pretty good with people so I just wanted to maybe see if you had any ideas? As to what I could do?”

Julie closed the journal seemingly filled with doodles and set it down in her nightstand before closing the drawer. She scooted over to one side of her bed, and Luke watched her, waiting for an answer.

She patted the space next to her, “Take your ghost-shoes off before you put your feet on my bed.”

Luke nodded, taking his shoes off and sitting next to her, back against the pillow and headboard/wall, and his hands folded in his lap as if he was in elementary school again.

“Alright, Julie’s sleepover-style therapy is in session. What can I help you with, Mr. Patterson?”

Luke chuckled, “Haha, alright, well, um… so as you probably heard, Alex and I had a fight.”

Julie feigned ignorance, “Oh really? I didn’t hear _anything_ about that!” Luke shoved her a little. It was still weird that they could touch each other now, but it was nice. She giggled, “Yeah, it was pretty easy to hear the tension from here. I couldn’t really hear the exact words though. It was something about a promise? And Reggie, right?”

Luke nodded, “Yeah. There’s something going on with Reggie and I don’t know what it is. I don’t think we’ve ever really… talked about our pasts to you that much? At least, not Reggie’s or Alex’s. I know you know mine.” He took a breath, “Reggie grew up in a… bad place. His parents were always fighting and sometimes it was about _him_ —”

“About him being bi?”

Luke stopped dead in his tracks, “Okay… and you know that because…?”

“Because Reggie told me. He’s pretty open about it, if you ask me. It was an offhand comment when I was talking to him about Nick and dating and stuff.”

Luke nodded, “Oh, okay.” _I didn’t think he was that open about it but if you say so._ “Well, yeah, sometimes it was about that. Eventually, there was one night where it got really bad and he ran away, to here. I had already run away and was living here at that point, and I was the one who calmed him down and got him to sleep that night.”

Julie was nodding along to Luke’s story, letting him know she understood and was listening. _It’s nice that Julie is so easy to talk to… We really got lucky with her, didn’t we?_

“But so—hey, everything I tell you here, you’re not gonna tell the guys any of this, right?”

She shook her head, “This is sleepover therapy. What happens at a sleepover _stays_ at a sleepover.”

Luke smiled and nodded, “Okay, cool, cool. But yeah, I noticed that Reggie didn’t seem like Reggie anymore, and I tried figuring out if something was wrong, but Reggie said he was fine and Alex _had_ initially just been saying that it was their training that was making Reggie tired, but then a few days ago after practice, Reggie poofed into the studio and just… broke down. Crying, shaking, everything. I-I-I just sat there with him, holding him and not knowing what was wrong… and that’s… that’s all I could do.”

Luke pulled his legs up, resting his arms on top.

“I knew Alex knew something, and that’s when him and I had that argument. I got Reggie to go to sleep then, too, and I-I knew he wouldn’t wake up to us even if we were loud. I didn’t think about you hearing us though, so there was that… I tried asking Alex again what he knew so I could help Reggie, but he’s so hellbent on keepin’ this promise he made to Reggie that he wouldn’t tell me what Reggie was doing. All he said was that Reggie ‘found his parents’.”

Luke sat forward, “And I told him that this wasn’t about me and that whatever was happening to Reggie was worth breaking his promise so that _I_ could try to help Reg, but he just wouldn’t fucking give up! And I know he was getting anxious ‘cause I saw him bouncin’ his leg, and I feel pretty shitty about that, but I needed to help _Reggie_.”

Luke leaned back and straightened out his legs, looking up at the ceiling, exasperated, “And Reggie _still_ won’t tell me what’s going on, so now I have no way of helping Reggie, and Alex and I, I think, are ready to punch each other. And now it’s hurting you because Alex and I are fighting and he’s playing loudly and giving you headaches because _I_ pissed him off and now he’s poofed out, probably to go see Willie who is quickly replacing me and Reggie as his family…”

Luke took a deep breath in and forced it out really fast. He looked over at Julie, who was listening intently. Her face was contemplative yet understanding and filled with comfort.

He also just realized that he just rambled on without letting her interject at all.

“Oh shit, I’m… I’m so sorry, Julie,” he laughed, “I uh… really just laid it all out, didn’t I?”

She chuckled, “Yeah, yeah you did. But it’s fine! It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” She paused for a moment and then turned to face him.

“So first off, I can tell you right now that Alex is not replacing you and Reggie with Willie. No one could replace the two of you, okay? Alex has a boyfriend, and when you’re fighting with family, you can’t really go to your family for comfort or advice as to what to do. You came up here to talk to me, it’s not much different if you think about it, even though I’m family.”

Luke shoved his tongue in his cheek, thinking about the similarity. He nodded as he let what she just said sink in.

“Next, and we’re gonna work backwards here, I think you need to go apologize to Alex.”

Luke was a bit shocked at this and made a face, “Why do _I_ need to go apologize? He’s the one keeping secrets!”

“Yeah, but Alex is also trying to be a good friend. You both had the sudden experience of Reggie poofing in and breaking down, right?” Luke nodded. “Okay, so neither of you really had any time to process what the next step you guys should take is, right?” Luke paused for a moment, pursing his lips and bobbing his head side to side as if deciding whether that was right or not before settling on Julie being right.

He nodded his head again, “Yeah, but still he—”

Julie held up a finger, “No, you had your turn to talk, now I get to talk. So, neither of you had time to think of what the best thing for _Reggie_ was, and both went with your gut reactions of what you each knew, right?”

Luke crossed his arms, “Right…”

“Okay, so you’re _both_ right at the same time. But you still need to apologize. Not for what you think was the right thing to do, but just about the fact that you blew up at him for doing what he thought was best for _Reggie_. You both love him, Reggie’s your guys’ best friend, and all you two want is for him to be safe and happy, right?”

Luke looked at her, sitting up, “Yeah, that’s all I want. I just want him happy again.”

“Well, it’s not gonna help Reggie if the two of you are at each other’s throats, now is it?” She looked at him, and he could sense that she was calling him a dumb-dumb in her head.

He sighed. “Yeah… yeah you’re right.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, turning back to lean against her pillow and wall next to Luke, “Flynn and I have had our fair share of fights, enough for me to know what each party is thinking in this situation. You just have to take the first step to try and fix it.”

Nodding, Luke looked at Julie, “You’re alright, Molina.” He got shoved for that one.

She took a deep breath, “Now about Reggie… I have a question first before I can offer you any advice there.”

_I mean, I don’t want to divulge too much about his past. I guess Alex is right in the regard that it is Reggie’s business and not mine, so it’s not my place to tell her too much about his past._

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you like Reggie?”

_What._

“ _What_?”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated, and turned to face him again, “Do. You. Like. Reggie?”

Luke avoided the question, “You mean like, as a friend or a brother? Because I’ve always liked Reggie, he’s an awesome guy, he’s definitely one of my best friends, who wouldn’t like Reggie—”

“Luke,” she said in a friendly yet stern tone, “you know that’s not what I mean.”

_How the hell does she know? I literally have not told ANYONE. Ever. I’ve never written it down anywhere or anything. Hell, my best friends think I’m straight._

“Well I mean, I’m uh, you know I like girls.”

“Yeah, aaaaand…?”

 _This girl is a witch, we were right_.

Luke let his head fall back against the wall, and he stared up at the ceiling, sighing. He then let out a small laugh, “Seriously, how the hell do you do that? How do you know so much about a person just by being around them for a bit?” He now was sitting cross-legged, mirroring her on the bed.

She smiled, grabbing his ear, “It’s about _listening_ , silly. Am I the only one who knows? And can I ask…?” he swatted her hand away from his ear.

He gave a lopsided smiled, “Yeah you can. I’m…I’m pan.” He was kind of taken back by himself just saying that out loud. He had never said it out loud and because of that, he was kinda trying to maybe force it down a bit. That’s why he always put up the façade of only liking girls, because both Reggie and Alex were out, but he didn’t want to come out and it seem like he just wanted to be ‘a part of the club’ or whatever people thought. He also maybe thought at some points when he was really being down on himself that he was just _lying_ to himself about it. That he really was doing it just to have something else in common with his best friends. But that was a conversation for another time. Now that he’s said it out loud? It feels _so_ good.

“And yes, you are the first one I’ve ever told. That’s… the first time I’ve said that, actually?” he laughed nervously, “Wow, okay. That was really relieving, actually.”

Suddenly, he was being pulled into a hug. He hugged Julie back, letting her warmth and comfort wash over him like a warm ray of sunshine, “Thank you for telling me and trusting me, Luke. I’m proud of you.”

They parted, “Yeah, no, thank you, Julie. I didn’t know how much I needed to actually, ya know, tell someone.”

“No problem, Luke. You’re my family, and you can always tell me anything. So, about Reggie?”

_Now this really was some sort of teenage girl sleepover. Except I’m not a girl, but this is really nice. Do girls have these conversations all the time?_

Luke’s shoulders slumped and he groaned, “Ugh, yeah, okay… I might just have a tiny crush on Reggie.” She gave him a look that said ‘ _Really? A tiny one?’_ “Okay! Okay, I have a big, dumb crush on Reggie. I like him a lot and I have for a bit now… but both of them think I’m straight so there’s no way Reggie knows. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship if he doesn’t actually like me too and… I don’t know.”

“Okay, so we’ll come back to _that_ new problem after we address what you should do with Reggie. I just… kinda wanted some context for where you stood in all this. Now, I’ve never had to deal with something like this, so I really don’t have any sage advice here, but it sounds like Reggie just isn’t ready to reach out to you, yet. You and Reggie have a really deep connection and history, but maybe just like how you haven’t told him that you’re pan, there’s a reason that he doesn’t want to tell you all the details of what is going on.”

Luke turned and laid down on the bed, covering his face with his hands and running them down his face, “Okay, but then how do I help him? I feel like I’m stuck here and I can’t do anything. And I asked him, and he says that he trusts me and knows he can tell me stuff.”

Julie put her hand on his arm, “First, I think just talking to Reggie about normal stuff is a good way to help him. Take his mind off his problems and make him laugh. It sounds like since he came back and broke down that you guys haven’t really done that, so all he has in his life right now is stress. I know the last thing I wanna do when I’m drowning in stress is talk about my problems to Flynn, even though I tell her everything. I usually want to relax a bit first.”

Luke thought for a minute. He hadn’t thought of that, just talking to Reggie about other stuff rather than constantly asking him if he’s alright. _I’ll… I’ll have to try that. That might work_. He nodded, showing her that he understood.

Julie relaxed her shoulders, rubbing her thumb on his arm, “You feel a bit better?”

Luke nodded, sitting up again, “Yeah, yeah I do. Thank you so much, Julie. You… you’re the best.” He smiled softly at her, so thankful to have someone so caring in his life. “Oh, also, I know Alex feels pretty bad about your headache, and I’m sure he’ll probably apologize at some point. And… I think I should say I’m sorry to you, too.”

“What for?”

He smiled, “I probably just gave you another headache, didn’t I?” he laughed as she hit him with her pillow.

“Oh, shut up, you’re fine, Luke. This was really nice.” They paused for a moment and smiled at one another. Julie laid down in her bed, and they both stared up at the ceiling. “You know, you can sleep up here tonight if you want to. I love sleepovers, and I wasn’t kidding about this being sleepover therapy.” Julie pointed to a pile of pillows and cushions by her window, “We could make you up a bed over there, I’ve got extra blankets. And it’s a Friday night, so my dad isn’t expecting me to get up early or anything, so we don’t have to worry about him coming in and seeing a weird ghost-figure under a sheet.” She said, elbowing Luke.

He laughed. Looked over at the pillows, and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m down for a sleepover. This isn’t… this isn’t weird, right?”

Julie shook her head, “If you were into me? Yes, then it’d be weird. But you’re crazy for Reggie so it’s all good.” Now Luke whacked her with the pillow he was laying on. “Hey! Don’t hit me ‘cause I’m right!”

Luke and Julie moved a few things around and made a bed for Luke. She really did have a lot of pillows and cushions, which made for a very plush surface for Luke to sleep on. She pulled a spare blanket out from under her bed, laying it out for Luke. He laid down in his ‘bed’ and Julie in hers.

“Night, Luke. Sleep tight.” She said, turning off the lamp.

“G’night, Julie. You too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke came out to someone!!! Yay!!! *confetti*
> 
> Like I said, next chapter will not be posted so soon, as life has returned, but hopefully it won't be /too/ long. This chapter was about 500+ words longer than normal so hopefully that makes up for it a bit.
> 
> As always, if you see anything that doesn't make sense in the fic, feel free to point it out (also spelling errors pls).
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


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